The January People’s Choice Award goes to…

The people have spoken… The January People’s Choice Award goes to Toby Inoue for her short play, 23 and Me and Me and Me, presented as a staged reading live at Theater Wit and Simulcast on January 6th. Congratulations, Toby!

Courtesy of Toby, we’re pleased to share the first few pages from the award-winning script. Enjoy!

23 and Me and Me and Me
by Toby Inoue

Characters:
PAUL (M) Mary’s husband, always wanted a large family
MARY (F) Paul’s wife, wants a family but maybe not so large
SARAH/FARAH/KARA (F) Paul’s surprise sisters

Hearing MARY coming, PAUL panics and shushes
AUDIENCE. MARY ENTERS, carrying a shopping bag.

PAUL
Mary, you’re back!

MARY
(Suspicious) Paul, what’s going on?

PAUL
I have some news.

MARY
I have some news, // too

PAUL
Don’t interrupt.

MARY
Go on.

PAUL
Remember the ancestry kit you gave me for Christmas last year?

MARY
You mean, the gift that pissed you off so much you wouldn’t talk to me for the rest of the year?

PAUL
That’s the one!

MARY
You called me a terrible gift-giver.

PAUL
I was hoping for a Wii.

MARY
You’re always complaining about being an only child and having no family so I gave you a gift to connect to relatives.

PAUL
But I didn’t ask for an ancestry kit.

MARY
I didn’t ask for a sponge!

PAUL
A Scrub Daddy is not just a sponge!

MARY
Don’t tell me you sent in the swab.

PAUL
I won’t if you don’t tell me, I told you so.

MARY
I won’t.

PAUL
Good.

MARY
Great!

MARY glowers. PAUL reconsiders.

PAUL
I sent in my swab!

MARY
I told you so!

PAUL
Mary, the therapist offered us healthier communication alternatives.

MARY
(Effortful) I value our relationship. I’m sorry I made you feel unheard in your request for a Wii and therefore hurt in your little baby feelings. I am grateful that you have come to appreciate what a thoughtful gift I gave you.

PAUL
And . . ?

MARY
And I am grateful that I can clean my pots . . faster.

Join us for our next Monday Night PlayGround, live and in-person, on Monday, February 3 at 7pm CT at Theater Wit and simulcast! Click here for more info and tickets.